Jonpon

Expectation versus reality, confidence and paranoia

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Cover: YouTube

I've been thinking a lot recently about the cover that I just released for a track from Pokemon Scarlet & Violet and about how much that it took, both physically and mentally. It's rare that you're left feeling like this when you don't have to tackle that problem of coming up with a composition in the first place but sometimes, studying a track right down to the smallest details can have a similar effect on you when it's finally complete.

I was so engrossed in the process and couldn't stop myself until I had finially completed all of the sections. When you pour so much effort into something, you hope that there will be an equal and opposite reaction, meaning that you hope it will be your best and most listened track to date. However, that is most likely going to be further from the truth - nothing is guaranteed when it is being judged by us, the users of the internet. If we ever see it at all in the first place.

It is so easy to get caught up in the number watching, frantically checking the analytics and engagement but why did I complete this track in the first place - was it so that I could get a huge amount of views on my YouTube channel, listens on my Soundcloud or engagement on my Twitter account? I'd be lying to myself if I said there wasn't a small part of me that would love a bit of recognition for all of my effort over the years, but no. The quest is still and always has been, self-improvement.

For an entire lifetime have I judged myself to never have reached my full potential. Yesterday's release was a step in finding out more information and improving my work with more traditional-style DAWs. That was the true goal of this and I must constantly remind myself that it was the case.

It's okay to be drained after completing what you deem to be a personal feat but don't forget to give yourself time to recouperate after. I was up until the early hours getting this one done and dusted but I allowed myself a bit of me time with some video games after breakfast. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you don't lose sight of your goal and true purpose.

Rooting for me and rooting for you. All the best.